Young and Aspiring
(about me)
"Sadness is considered a bad feeling."

cat marnell
brand new
BN fanlisting
miyawaki sakura
stephanie lawson stevens

Depressed Networking
(44caliber's soft white underbelly)
The Church of Euthanasia
"Save the planet, kill yourself!"
Life and Suicide of Mister Mary Holiday
What a Wonderful Time for a
Mass-Murder Suicide
Valentine's Day
The true .44 caliber love letter

music ramblings
cds / records / cassettes
(almost every image used on this site)
(other sites + some videos)

index (1 , 2 )
about (1 , 2 , 3)
stolen from some great writer (1)
stolen from some great writer (2)

70x7@null.net ✩ neocities profile

welcome to fourty-four caliber dot net!

(made using google chrome, view on desktop please)

Since April 12, 2021
to best enjoy this website, sit on something with back support, wear loose fitting clothing, avoid overhead lighting. to best understand the material, work part time, make less than $20,000 a year, grow your hair out, live under constant threat of eviction, wait until your bills arrive in pink envelopes before paying them, have highly personal and easily misunderstood goals, wake after nine but before noon, have roomates regardless of your age, be a success sexually but remember your failures, understand the world wasn't made for you, understand your parents are just people and be nice to them based on merit, have definite opinions but understand the world does not care, judge people on how they will fit into a D&D campaign, love animals, do not treat retarded people like lepers, really don't treat lepers like lepers, be kind to people, do not be afraid of other people's opinions, understand art has a context and don't dismiss things outright, don't be married, do not have children, avoid hard drugs (they make you talk too loud and that's annoying), understand people have the right to be tasteless, approach doors with confidence and not fear, attach yourself to people who are funny, distance yourself from uptight squares, embrace the meteor, try new things.

Severely depressed, starting to absolutely hate this website. What to do?

Small updates mainly. Just fixing links and graphics :) Only slightly major update is to photos page

New pages: text and photos. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the photos page look good, hopefully it's decent for now. Will add more pictures later. Also, changed a few of the songs on the music player. Pretty soon I'm going to try to make each page on this website look the same on different resolutions (for example, the index looking completely different on my laptop than on the monitor I use when working on it.)

THE BRAND NEW PAGE IS FINALLY DONE... well, for right now. I think I'm content with how it is right now. Don't get me wrong, this was a lot of fun to work on, but I don't think I'll ever do another page like this again. When you're on word 2000 of Brand New lore and still have like 16 more years to cover, there's no going back. I put more effort into this than I have any school assignment.

Added a 'related' section to Church of Euthanasia. I link a few sites that mainly relate to suicide, maybe some of you will be interested.

- cal/luaa/.44caliber/penknifelovelife/degaussser

NEW: Graphics! Added a section to Valentine's Day in which I talk about the 2015 Halifax shooting plot.


Cleared out old updates. NEW: "Depressed Networking", inspired by depressed.net. Current pages that are up: Church of Euthanasia, The Fantastic Life and Suicide of Mister Mary Holiday, and a misanthropic page about Valentine's Day. A lot of the pages on here I usually work on for a day or two before completely abandoning them whenever I get another idea for this website, sooooo I hope to go back and make those appear a bit more finished soon™