In the winter on the porch
In the window of the door
I watch in the kitchen with your notebook open
Frozen in the cold when I come back with wine
At the end of every long night
Take a moment you need to just breathe

Weeks and months go by like this
We function on routines
We sleep, we eat, we read
We eat, we drink, we sleep
You give me strength to fix myself
I gave you tokens, toys, and gifts to help you grieve

"Kill me by surprise,"
You said, "I don't want to stay alive"

Winter, we huddled in anger
Spring, sadness sinking in
Summer, accept all departures
Then autumn, start again

Rhodonite for stress relief
Promethazine for sleep
A rabbit toy for children
My deep condolences