this is the grace only we can bestow
this is the price you pay for loss of control
this is the break in the bend
this is the closest of calls
this is the reason you're alone
this is the rise and the fall!

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a sign?
So I'll know it's you, and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you're coming for the people like me

There's banging on the wall. It's 5 am, I've got no sleep at all.
Just thoughts of how I might struggle through tomorrow
Too much time in one day, too much time to occupy
With boring thoughts
And boring moods
And boring bedtimes
Won't tell a single soul that my soul's gone
My life is full of what's not here
I'll go away and save myself

Telling everyone you know
Maybe I'll be bad for you
Maybe you're too good for me
Everyone is getting screwed

Well if the shoe fits, then put it on
Wear it like a crown
I can't believe you called
Just to say that you were coming down
I like the way you roll your eyes
Right before you fall down

Hide behind your crystal screen and blow kisses at me
Go write your name on my chest in kerosene
Spark a match, and you won't be cold again
Coldest eyes, and the softest touch
(Those three words destroyed Every inch of me yet you keep speaking)

What did he say to make you so goddamn defiant?
So fucking triumphant?

A little bit closer, your lipstick is smudged, dear
Here, let me wipe that smirk off

Relations, in direct competition
The players, disguised as the lovers
The best friend
The game of who needs who the worst

I will promise myself I won't care, distracting myself from your stare
And I've seen this mistake once before, with your games I will never fall for

I've hung up my guns, I won't kill again.

I won't forget you, I'm not gonna let you win
But I'm tired of lying, tired of fighting you
And it's not going to change

You asked for my heart, you know that I'm down
But not the way you lie to me, and tear it all apart, and beg for me to stay

I've sailed off to sea. I'm not coming back.

Oh doctor, doctor, can you fix me?
Oh Pretty Baby, you're so naive, but it comes off so cute
We don't want to fix you

We love you just the way you are
The butterfly pinned to the page
The nightingale locked in the cage
Won't you sing for me?

We love you just the way you are
Crushed underneath fashion magazines
Trampled by circus pony dreams
Won't you kiss me?

Oh please, mister, can't you fix me?
Someone, anyone, won't you fix me?
Oh, someone, please, the moon has raped me!
Oh, Mama, please let someone fix me!

So cry yourself to sleep
Cry yourself to sleep
I am strong, and you are weak
Wait, you are strong, and I am weak

"Is this coming of age?" As you climbed out the window, your face cold as stone.
You lifted the towel, your wrist showed the bone.
Who taught you how to hate yourself? Who forced you to confide in spell? Mistook 'pathetic' for empathy

Cast a stone at the foe, and the stone hit me.

You said you're trapped in your body and getting deeper every day. They diagnosed you born that way.
And I found the notes you left behind. Little hints and helpless cries. Desperate wishing to be over.

I held your hand in ritual to show disarming while you were a weapon inside yourself.
Held my breath in the ER, I swayed as I stood.
I tried to stay steady, protect you the best that I could.

And you pretended to sleep the entire ride home
But I heard you crying when you felt alone

I watched the sun set in your eyes for the last time
I thought you died that night
You called to tell me you wouldn't survive

I would've given anything to be there
I could have sworn that I was
(It's not that I want to die,
I just want to disappear)

Winter has never felt like it lasted for so long
But I've grown used to the cold
And I know that you see there's no warmth where you are

So I embrace the parts of myself that I long to change
I embrace the parts that I hate because they remind me of when we were nearly the same

What difference does this difference in age make?
I know how it ends... she'll kill me quick!
Call homicide, take the case to court
Her lips taste like a loaded gun
And I'm her number one chalk outline on the floor

They hung her from the bridge on Monday
The gathering turned into a mob out on the lawn
They dropped her body in the river
And school and work returned to normal before long...

plaid skirts that hide love, walk in single file, ties that restrict blood from the brain.
passing notes in math class, it's a coming of age story. freedom wears the scars of desire.

conflicting impulses.

anxious eyes stare out of warped glass, waiting for the three o'clock bell.

I'm trying hard to forget that cold October day, when Love challenged Freedom to a fist fight. Freedom looked victorious, but no one was expecting the outcome on that baseball diamond... When Love reached beneath her plaid jumper, pulled out a switch-blade, and drove it directly through the heart of St. Angeles.

any notion of self-government was left by love bleeding on the pitcher's mound.

Left Column:
01. Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New
02. Jesus Christ - Brand New
03. So You Wanna Be A Superhero - Carissa's Wierd
04. Ignorant Piece of Shit - Carissa's Wierd
05. Adelleda - Alexisonfire
06. The Game of Who Needs Who the Worst - Cursive
07. Discovering the Waterfront - Silverstein
08. The Lament of Pretty Baby - Cursive
09. In Framing / Life in Drag / Your Deep Rest - The Hotelier
10. Emily's First Communion - Old Gray
11. Sudden Death in Carolina - Brand New
12. A Dagger Through the Heart of St. Angeles - Alexisonfire

Right Column:
01. don't know
03. Cover Up - Name Taken
04. Pete Wentz livejournal
05. The Soviet - mewithoutYou
06. Millstone - Brand New
07. The Carpal Tunnel of Love - Fall Out Boy
08. Mayday Parade
09. Dylann Roof
10. Archers - Brand New
11. Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New
12. Rigged and Ready - Northstar
13. The Kennedy Curse - Alexisonfire
14. Fairmount - La Dispute
15. Gloria - Mineral
16. The Radiator Hums - Cursive
17. Polaroids of Polar Bears - Alexisonfire
18. The No Seatbelt Song - Brand New
19. Smile In Your Sleep - Silverstein

next time you cut ties, go a little deeper
spill your blood for the natural world, you owe it more than you're giving it
wrap your wrists in gauze, fill your heart with cause, whether it's real or not
one day you will love me, medicate yourselves
God is Love and Love is real
Save my life tonight
Take two years and call me when you're better
you be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, i'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds
"I am in bed, so depressed I cannot get out of bed. My life is wasted. I have no friends even though I am cool. I am going back to sleep."
The Archers' Bows Have Broken
i just want to believe, i just want to believe, i just want to believe ( us)
Raccoon eyed and skin whiter than heaven's best fighter. I wish I was missing...
I slice my wrists by way of paper scars and pictures frames
lay your scars out in rows, it was my weakness that couldn't save us
I just want to be something more than the mud in your eyes. I want to be the clay in your hands.
When you're selfless, you're so hard not to adore. When you're selfish, I just love you even more. With shattered dinner plates, that's how we'll communicate.
Explosive personalities, self-centeredness
but how could i miscalculate... perfect eyes will have perfect aim
You lie through your teeth, and you smile in your sleep!