"there are plenty of fish in the sea" quip pretty fisherman on boats in stocked lakes and fish farms. of all of god's jokes, i am the most cruel.
one day you will love me, medicate yourselves
you be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, i'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds
boxes of cats, people with taz tattoos, explosive personalities, self-centeredness protractor from two new geometry sets, inability to do math, geography
i saw her die three times tonight
do your part to save the scene
liberate yourself from my viselike grip!
a crown of gold, a heart that's harder than stone, and it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. so call it quits, or get a grip. say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed.
joke me something awful just like the kisses on the necks of 'best friends'
to hands between legs, to 'whatever it takes' to drinks at the club, to the bar, to the keys to your car, to hotel stairs, to the emergency exit door
douse yourself in cheap perfume it's so fitting for the way you are, can't cover it up.
"can't you, can't you feel it, rollin off your lips, tensing up your shoulders, come on... well it's love, make it hurt!"
but how could i miscalculate... perfect eyes will have perfect aim
you can sin or spend the night all alone
"my nine millimeter handgun rides passenger seat just in case i need to pop a cap in someone's ass" - comment section on 'my nine rides shotgun'
once said, always said. i will hold the past over your head
the fever, the focus, the reasons that i had to believe you weren't too hard to sell!
this is me with the words on the tip of my tongue any my eye through the scope down the barell of a gun
this is you trying hard to make sure that you're seen with a girl on your arm and your heart on your sleeve

"Up home we wear a hat like that to shoot dear in, for Chrissake," he said. "That's a deer shooting hat."

"Like hell it is." I took it off and looked at it. I sort of closed one eye, like I was taking aim at it. "This is a people shooting hat," I said. "I shoot people in this hat."

in the mirror with your eyes wide
trace outlines ask for wine
but you never look away when you do
your eyes don't move; i never move mine from you
and i watch you, your reversal
it's an honest thing when there's no one there
some days they feel like dress rehearsals
some days i watch and you don't care
there are moments here only yours and mine
tiny dots on an endless timeline

this is the grace only we can bestow
this is the price you pay for loss of control
this is the break in the bend
this is the closest of calls
this is the reason you're alone
this is the rise and the fall!

plaid skirts that hide love, walk in single file, ties that restrict blood from the brain.
passing notes in math class, it's a coming of age story. freedom wears the scars of desire.

conflicting impulses.

anxious eyes stare out of warped glass, waiting for the three o'clock bell.

I'm trying hard to forget that cold October day, when Love challenged Freedom to a fist fight. Freedom looked victorious, but no one was expecting the outcome on that baseball diamond... When Love reached beneath her plaid jumper, pulled out a switch blade, and drove it directly through the heart of St. Angeles.

any notion of self-government was left by love bleeding on the pitcher's mound.

your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation
you're spending all the night's growing old in your bed
and you're tearing up your photos because you want to forget
it's over

you call that love, not because it is, but because you want it to be because you're so goddamned lonely, so goddamned unable to handle the ocean roar in your ears when you're alone. you tell yourself that the ash in your lungs is as good as a kiss goodnight, and you write poems about the smoke tendrils whispering off her lips. how beautiful they are, how like the aching arms of god you always wanted them to be.

and then there's another blade. and there's another bottle of pills. a fifth of vodka. a hospital visit. two weeks of inpatient while your whole family prays for you to get better.