September 19th, 2001
Today I did two things I'm not very proud of.
First, I made myself throw up all the food I ate
today, secondly, I bought razor blades and cut
with them. I'm sick and tired of justifying it to
myself, so I guess I'll only say I had a bad day.
I must have had.
Oh, I dunno. I feel so old. I didn't mean to end
up like this. I suppose I just wanted something
different. I don't know. It's been... bad, in
some ways. I don't quite know what to say. I just
wanted... to tell this to someone. Nobody listens
though. And I suppose I shouldn't mind.
And, well, I really don't know if all this is
worth it. Last night I thought it would've been a
good night to kill myself. I don't know why.
everything's just hazy and unreal, and I want out
of this life. And I'm not even sure why.
Written by Lena, who committed suicide on October 18th, 2001 ♡