I have a bunch of writing from the last couple of days that I need to look over and then upload here. I went back the other night and took out some of the stuff I wrote before.
Last night somebody had told me about hypnagogia and suggested that I write about it some. He deleted his tumblr account this morning though so I have no way of talking to him anymore, and really no one else to talk to T^T I'll still write the page though, probably start it today or tomorrow.
How are you supposed to make friends once you're out of high school? I'm taking a class at the community college, and all of my classmates are at least thirty years old. No hate to anyone who's that age, it's just not very common for an eighteen year old to be friends with them. I hang out at the pet store sometimes, helping take care of the cats. When you start going to the same place a lot, people start recognizing you, but all the people I know are very old women. As in like seventies and eighties.
Two days ago, Dylann Roof turned thirty. I had made a separate tumblr account just to talk about him without the risk of my main getting deleted again, but I was already over it after a day, so I might delete it. His fans are the absolute worst. I make a post about him being suicidal, and some chick comments on it saying she wants him to eat her pussy or some shit, and then defends it by saying it's her way of coping with "trauma"??? That's your coping method? Come up with something better because it's really fucking weird... Either way, I think I'm losing interest in him, which is probably for the best because the only people who seem to want to talk to him mostly talk about him sexually, which is a bit repulsive to me. Sometimes I feel like these people don't even know anything about him outside of the way he looks.
Really behind in one of my classes, which is really pathetic considering I'm only taking two classes and they're both very easy. Also bought a signed Capsize cd yesterday, which I'm really excited about.
But anyways...
1. Desaparecidos - What's New For Fall
Into corduroys or jeans, chinos or capris, sweater vest, no sleeves, oxford underneath
or whatever you think... I mean, whatever's gonna make you want me
C'mon, dress me. I'll be your mannequin
Make me attractive, so sexy and thin
I'll stand still, pose me in any position
and when the people pass by my window, I'll be adored by them
I wanna be one of the boys from the catalogues that you flip through
You'll point and say, "he's the one"
You waste no time deciding, you grab your credit card and call, start ordering
But what's new for fall by spring means nothing
I want to undress you in your walk-in closet after you try on one of your new outfits
I know that six months later you won't be caught dead in it
But for the moment there, your shape hangs everywhere
And it looks perfect, oh, just perfect
I don't think she likes me, not with this new haircut
I don't think she likes me, I shouldn't eat so much
I don't think she likes me, not with this new haircut
I don't think she likes me, I shouldn't eat so much
I don't think she likes me, not with this new haircut
I don't think she likes me...
2. Microwave - Lighterless
If I can get this hanger through the window of my car, I’ll never leave my house again for anything, I swear
Pacing in the driveway, I’m the nemesis of fun, with soggy hot dog buns from spilling warm beer in my trunk
Throwing down my jacket as I walk inside
I see a cloudy CD case sliding off the side of a dresser from Ikea that I can’t get right (God, I swear if it’s missing pieces I could choke someone...)
“I guess you can come over if you’re really dry, but I’m not really trying to go out tonight"
It's been a really shitty day, I’d rather take some time to just pound zinfandel by myself and unwind
Remind me of the last time that we hung out, was it sick?
'Cause I don’t remember anything, not a glimpse of it
And I would rather re-up than hear about your kids, but I hope that y’all are doing just as great as I expect
‘P’ got me some gifts because she’s super tight
I’m lighterless, relying on the stove for a light
But I don’t really care, these are my favorite nights, when I can sit on my ass and respond to no one
“I guess you can come over if you’re really dry, but I’m not really trying to go out tonight"
No, with my clammy fingers grabbing every crumb that I find, I could sit around here for the rest of my life
3. Microwave - Vomit
We used to only do this on the weekends, but now it's almost every single night
I hear you down the hallway back there puking. I hear your pompous college friends, they're puking outside
So, I pull your drawers and fill up your sink, make everything exactly how you hate it all to be
Because I'm not trying to hold your hair
No, love won't pass through me because I'm far too cynical for faith and make believe
Because there's no such thing as love, we just felt vulnerable without a God, without a crutch or anything else to lean on