I'm currently at the public library writing this, which is across the street from the high school that I used to go to. My parents encourage me to come here at least once every two weeks because they think it will help me to make friends my own age, but what I really do here is read and work on this website and listen to La Dispute and watch other teenagers walk around and hang out with their friends. Sometimes I swear I can see the people I used to be friends with walk in, but it's hard to tell because I usually sit around 100-200 ft. from the entrance. Sometimes I stare at them and maybe they'll look back and recognize me, but I look completely different from the last time anyone saw me. I think I'm going to come again on Halloween (which I have a lot to say about but I have other things that I want to write about today), since the library has this Halloween event every year, that my (former) friends volunteer for, so I'm hoping to maybe see them again. Actually, maybe I'll come every day this week.
Speaking of La Dispute, I finally saw them last week! Of course I've loved them for so long (as you can tell by me mentioning them every time I update this page), but they were so incredible live that I fell in love with them even more. Right after I came home I wrote an embarrassingly emotional rant about how much they mean to me and how amazing they were live.
I don't want to give an exact setlist just to hide exactly where I live, but the setlist for every show was generally the same: all of Wildlife, then the encore is Andria, followed by two other songs. I never realized how much this band meant to me until I went and remembered how good of an album Wildlife was, and the two songs in the encore just so happened to be the first songs that got me into La Dispute.
Sweet Pill (the opening band) was so amazing as well! I had only listened to their album once and I already knew they were good, but they sounded even better live.

When I started writing this I mentioned staring at people that I thought I knew until they noticed, but this time it actually worked and one of my best friends from my junior year came over and talked to me. We talked for nearly two hours, and planned to meet again this Wednesday with our other friend for this cheesy Halloween bingo thing. Something else I had mentioned when I first started writing this (aproximately six hours ago) was the Halloween event the library has every year, but I guess this year it's multiple events, so I picked up a list of them. Some notable events include anime club and LARPing as detectives (their words, not mine!).

Thank you to everyone who left a comment on my profile, you're all so kind ♡ I've been working on a page dedicated to a lot of the things that helped me get through a rough childhood, it might be up in a week or so. I'm also considering making a website button so people can link back to this page. I hope to add a section (likely on the site index) for other people's site buttons. Changed the playlist on the home page so it wouldn't be all La Dispute songs.
Wednesday went well, I saw a couple of old friends, I don't really have much to say about that. I talked to my therapist this week and we came up with a plan for me to be able to finish school on time. The issue I'm having is that it's supposed to be at your own pace, but unfortunately I've been depressed and unmotivated and am only ~10% through most of my classes when I had hoped to be 50% through by the end of December.

I remember seeing someone recommend "...To the Beat of a Dead Horse" and "Parting the Sea Between Brightness and Me" on their website and I couldn't be more grateful because I listened to those recently and they were amazing! I wanted to get into Touché Amoré because I loved their split EP with La Dispute.
Something that really annoys me is when people attempt to critique society, but focus on how people are expressing more creativity than ever, instead of other genuine issues. What's so bad about dyed hair, interesting fashion choices, and people expressing who they are through their apperance?
I'm super stressed about my computer. It's a Microsoft Surface Go 2, and just after the warranty expired (what a coincidence, huh) the screen started having severe issues. A quote from someone else that explains it pretty well is "flickering bands of visual noise similar to a CRT TV with poor reception". At some point I'm going to try 1. connecting my laptop to a monitor (which is so annoying considering the reason I prefer a laptop is because I can just sit in bed all day while working on various things), or 2. taking it to a local shop that fixes broken screens (i think), although I'm not so sure if that may involve actually logging into my laptop and seeing all the cringey things I do online. If anyone I knew irl saw this website I'd probably delete it and never talk to anyone again out of embarrassment.